Saturday, April 01, 2006

Pants on fire

By popular request* here are some more examples of LIARS attacks:

Getting Nolan out of his high chair after a meal, I usually ask, "Are you ready to get down?" This, naturally, led to Kool and the Gang's "Jungle Boogie" being transformed into the Baby Boogie:

Get down, get down
Get down, get down
Baby Boogie
(dititidoo dititidoo)
Baby Boogie
(it's time to get down)

Also after meals, as I struggle to wipe the accumulated food mush off of his face, I tend to exclaim, "You've got food on your face!" which always brings on Queen's "We Will Rock You":

You've got food on your face
Your baby face
Somebody better pick you up and wipe off your face
(singing) I will, I will, wipe you!

Jesus, I'm a dork. (That's not a lyric, that's just an observation).

Then there's the classical section. When Nolan has a nice, big but relatively manageable poop, he gets Handel's Hallelujah chorus (sometimes in two-part harmony with me and KB):

Super Pooper! Super Pooper!
Superpooper! Superpooper!
Super-er Pooperrr...

Also, on our way to the changing table when he's got an evident load in the pants, I like to bust out the, umm...that Wagner (I think it's Wagner) song about the, know. It goes, "Kill da wabbit, kill da wabbit..." Not only am I a dork, I'm a poorly educated dork. Except instead of "Kill da wabbit," it's:

Poopy diaper, poopy diaper
Poopy diaper, poopy diaperrrr...

And let's not forget the poor, neglected cats. Every now and then one of them, usually Jake, will decide it's time to freak out and tear around the house with his tail puffed up. This earns him a tune by Joe Jackson, "Steppin' Out":

Kitty's, spazzing ouuuuut...
All through the house
He's spazzing out

But probably the most embarrassing one of all is this: Among Nolan's many nicknames is the frequently used (by me, anyway) "Baby Guy." I don't know why, I just call him that sometimes. I'll walk into the room and see him sitting on the floor with a toy, and it seems so natural to say, "Hey, baby guy!" So of course, you know what's coming...that's right. It's "Cherry Pie," by Warrant.

He's my baby guy
He's so cute make his mama cry
He's my baby guy
Sweet! Baby! Guy!

This poor kid. He's going to be so warped.

Thanks for reading.

*Nobody requested these. I just felt like posting them. So there.

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