And we'd like you to dance, take a ch-ch-ch-chance

Amazing.

Happy first birthday, Nolan!

One year ago today, Nolan was born. Holy Moly.* I'm trying to reach past the cliches and really think about what it's been like, this past year, but all I can come up with are things like, "It's all a blur," "I can't believe how fast the time went" and crap like that.

The thing that amazes me most is how much he's changed and grown in just a year. He started as this little pod, this little larvae, almost, just a pooping machine, and now he's crawling and standing and talking and he's got a personality - he has wants and needs and desires and he can express them (sort of). Just imagine if all human beings kept growing and developing at that first-year rate throughout our lives. We'd be telepathic and able to fly by the time we could vote.

I was talking to a fellow new-mom yesterday and realized the other thing that has really changed in the past year is how much I'VE grown and changed. I think back to last summer when Nolan was a brand new baby and how frightened I was of everything. I don't think we left the house with him much more than 4 or 5 times the entire summer. It just seemed too dangerous. I could drop him! Someone could sneeze on him! Or touch him! He could get overheated! He could get chilly! Aaaack! Better just stay home. Of course, staying home all day has its dangers, too, namely in regards to my sanity. I feel like I'm getting much better at living my regular life as much as possible and just including Nolan in it, rather than structuring everything around Nolan and his moods. I think there's a word for that...oh yes, balance! Moderation in all things, blah blah blah.

I've been reading a lot of parenting books lately. Checking them out from the library to read them first before I see if I want to buy them. So far I've read How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk, The 7 Worst Things Parents Do, and The Blessing of a Skinned Knee. They're all pretty much directed at parents with slightly older kids, but I figure it can't hurt to start doing some reading now. I'm kind of torn between the "Ahhhh, I'll figure it out as I go along" approach and the read-as-much-as-possible-to-avoid-any-mistakes approach. In reality, I know I can't avoid ALL mistakes and I know there will be some things that I'll be able to handle instinctually and some that I'll need to bring out the books for.

Now I see why people have more than one kid. You need the practice!

Pix from Nolan's party on Saturday will be posted with all possible haste.

Thanks for reading.

*I'm trying really, REALLY hard to swear less. Nolan's just starting to say words ("Dada" was the first. Yes, I spend 24 hours a day with you, clean up your poop, feed you, dress you, and work my butt off to entertain you, but your first word? Dada. Not that I'm bitter.) and I'm afraid he's going to pick up some incredibly foul language from me. Particularly in the car. So I'm harkening back to my days growing up with Mormons and them saying "Cheese is sliced!" (instead of Jesus Christ) and "Shut the front door!" (instead of shut the fuck up). So far, it's not going too well. Of course, "Mother pus bucket!" gets plenty of use. That one's almost as good as swearing.